And How to Avoid Them for More Confidence, Clarity, and Clinical Impact

Working with couples is a powerful opportunity to shift dynamics, heal emotional wounds, and build long-term relational resilience. But even the most passionate and skilled therapists can make missteps—especially without a clear framework or training specific to relationship work.

Let’s explore 7 of the most common mistakes that can undermine your progress with couples, and how you can avoid them with structure, support, and skill-building.

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1️⃣ Not Listening to Both Partners

It’s easy for one partner to dominate the conversation—especially if they’re more verbal or emotionally expressive. But when one voice is consistently centered, the therapy process becomes lopsided. Balance starts with intention: structure your sessions to ensure equity of voice and emotional safety.

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2️⃣ Not Getting a Full History from Each Partner

You need more than “how did you two meet?” True relational healing comes from understanding each partner’s story—family background, trauma history, attachment styles, and beliefs about love. Without this context, you’re treating symptoms, not root causes.

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3️⃣ Taking Sides (Even Subtly)

This often happens unintentionally—one partner may seem more reasonable or emotionally in touch. But when therapists validate one partner more than the other, it breaks the sense of neutrality and trust that’s essential in couples work. Practice systemic thinking and reflect patterns, not personalities.

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4️⃣ Not Identifying the Real Problem

Couples often present surface-level issues like finances or household duties. But underneath are deeper unmet needs, unspoken expectations, or emotional disconnection. Part of your job is helping clients identify shared issues, not just individual grievances.

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5️⃣ Not Holding Both Partners Accountable

Therapy isn’t effective when one partner feels they’re “the problem.” Both people contribute to relationship dynamics. The goal is to create mutual responsibility, not blame. That means helping each partner see their role and make sustainable change.

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6️⃣ Not Teaching Tangible Skills

Insight without tools won’t get couples through hard seasons. Many therapists offer understanding but stop short of teaching how to communicate, repair conflict, or regulate emotions. Couples need practical skills like time-outs, reflective listening, validation, and collaborative problem solving.

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7️⃣ Not Using a Structured Assessment

Working without assessment is like navigating without a map. Tools like Prepare/Enrich or Gottman Relationship Checkups help identify strengths, risks, and growth areas so you can track outcomes over time and tailor your interventions. Don’t skip this critical step.

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So… What Now?

If you’re reading this and realizing you’ve made one (or all) of these mistakes—you’re not alone. Most of us were trained to do individual therapy, not to navigate the complexity of relationship systems.

That’s why I created Insight to Impact, a powerful one-day training for therapists and coaches who want to feel more confident, structured, and prepared when working with couples.

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🔁 Next Steps

✅ Download the 7 Mistakes Ebook
Get the free guide packed with tangible tools, common mistakes to avoid, and strategies to strengthen your couples work. It’s your first step to practicing with more clahttps://onepiphanylane.myflodesk.com/7mistakesrity and confidence.

📲 Follow Me on Social Media
Stay connected for tips, resources, and live walkthroughs of what works in real-life couples therapy. I regularly share clinical gems, marketing tips, and behind-the-scenes previews of Insight to Impact.
Instagram | Facebook | @TikTok

📝 Complete the Interest From
When you’re ready to move from insight to action, fill out the interest form to get matched with the next available Insight to Impact training date. You’ll also receive updates about bonus offers and training options near you.

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You don’t have to wing it in couples work.
Let’s build the clarity, confidence, and clinical impact you deserve.

✨ On Epiphany Lane, we turn insight into action—and action into transformation. ✨

“1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience mental illness each year, but most won’t get the help they need—especially in communities of color.”

What We Miss During Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental Health Awareness Month shines a spotlight on an issue that affects millions. Each year, about 25% of U.S. adults experience a diagnosable mental disorder, and 10% live with conditions like major depression or bipolar disorder.

But awareness alone isn’t enough. What happens after the spotlight fades? What actions do we take once the social media posts stop trending?

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🔹 What Awareness Months Do Well

Visibility matters.

Lately, I’ve noticed a growing cynicism online about awareness months. In a world where being “woke” is used as a slur, these campaigns can feel performative or overwhelming. But I still believe in their value—especially when it comes to mental health.

Awareness months create visibility. They connect people to information, offer language for experiences they haven’t been able to name, and give permission to be vulnerable. They also reveal the values of the companies we support.

Take Target, for example—once praised for embracing cultural awareness campaigns like Black History and Pride Month. After pulling back from DEI initiatives, their shift in values became clear, and consumers took notice.

At their best, awareness months help workplaces show support for employee wellness. For Mental Health Awareness Month, letting your team know that their well-being matters isn’t just a kind gesture—it’s a workplace culture shift.

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🔹 Where Awareness Falls Short

Mental health isn’t trendy. It’s daily.

Here’s the hard truth: mental health doesn’t fit neatly into a campaign. For those who live with severe mental illness, awareness content can sometimes feel dismissive—or worse, like a trendy aesthetic.

Hashtag fatigue is real. Awareness without action creates disillusionment. When people see content that feels generic or disconnected from real life—“just journal!”—they tune out. Others may even feel guilt or shame if they can’t relate to the suggested tips.

Mental health is not one-size-fits-all. People need deeper tools, personalized strategies, and consistent care—not just an inspirational quote in May.

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🔹 What We Can Do Differently

For Professionals:

Make it actionable.

As a mental health professional, I try to do something each May—not just create content. This year, I spoke with a group of Black men about reclaiming their mental and physical well-being. It was powerful.

Whether it’s promoting free mental health screenings, encouraging employees to use their benefits, or destigmatizing therapy—we can meet people where they are and offer real tools.

For Everyday People:

Make it routine.

If you’re not a therapist, you still have the power to build a system that supports your mental health. Think of Awareness Month as your personal reset button. Start simple.

Need a place to begin? Try these tools I love and recommend:

• Cope Notes – A digital support tool that sends thoughtful, therapeutic messages to your phone daily. Use code ONEPIPHANYLANE for 10% off your membership and try it free for 7 days.
• My Therapy Cards – Created by a Black woman psychologist, these decks offer guided prompts for women, men, teens, and now couples. I even use them with my clients when they feel stuck in session. They’re beautiful, insightful, and effective.

Mental health support isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifestyle.

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🔹 Legacy + Connection

My journey with mental health is deeply personal—it began long before I became a therapist.

Growing up, my family says I was always tuned into people’s emotions. I was sensitive, and even when I tried to act tough, my mom knew how to make space for that part of me. I loved creating stories with my Barbie dolls—what I thought was “playing Oprah” looked more like group therapy sessions on the porch. By middle school, I was a Peer Mentor, and by high school, I knew I wanted to help people navigate the emotional challenges of life.

My 20-year battle with Lupus has also taught me that raising awareness often comes from lived experience and pain. Even when I talk about it openly, it’s usually after something goes wrong that people start to pay attention. Losing my mother when she was only 66 has made me even more aware of how trauma and stress impact physical health. We can quite literally burn out if we don’t take care of ourselves. Awareness is important—but it’s not enough. It reminds me that advocacy doesn’t stop with an Instagram post. It has to move us to action.

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🔹 Let’s Make It Count

We can make Mental Health Awareness Month more than a moment. Here’s how:

✨ Drop a comment: What’s one mental health goal you’re working on this month?

✨ Try a tool:

• Get 10% off Cope Notes with code ONEPIPHANYLANE – click here.
• Grab a deck of My Therapy Cards to start your self-reflection journey.

✨ Ready to start therapy or coaching?
If you’re in Texas or North Carolina, join my client list at www.onepiphanylane.com.
If you’re outside those states, and you’re a professional with ADHD or a new leader managing anxiety, book a free coaching consultation to see if we’re a fit.

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Mental health is more than a hashtag.
Let’s turn awareness into action—together. -On Epiphany Lane

Practical Strategies to Find Calm and Regain Control

If you’re someone who’s used to high standards, pushing through discomfort, and getting things done no matter what—anxiety might feel like a crack in your armor. You’re not alone. Many high-achieving professionals, leaders, and entrepreneurs struggle with anxiety, even if it’s invisible to others. But here’s the truth: anxiety doesn’t have to run the show.

In this post, we’ll break down clear, evidence-based strategies to help you manage anxiety without losing your edge—so you can perform well and feel well.

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Understanding High-Functioning Anxiety

Anxiety isn’t always panic attacks or avoidance. Sometimes, it’s perfectionism masked as productivity. It’s staying up late with racing thoughts, rehearsing tomorrow’s conversations, or fearing failure even after success. High-functioning anxiety often hides behind achievement, which can make it harder to recognize—and harder to pause.

You might notice:

• Constant overthinking or second-guessing yourself
• Difficulty relaxing or enjoying downtime
• Trouble sleeping due to a “busy brain”
• A need for control or fear of making mistakes

These feelings are valid. And they’re manageable.

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1. Use High-Performance Breathing to Regain Control

In fast-paced environments, your nervous system often stays in overdrive. Grounding yourself with intentional breathing shifts your body out of fight-or-flight mode. Try the 4-7-8 method:
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale slowly for 8.
Repeat for 2–3 minutes. It’s a simple but powerful tool to calm your nervous system.

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2. Reframe Thoughts Like a Strategist

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) isn’t about toxic positivity—it’s about mental clarity. When a negative thought pops up (e.g., I’m not doing enough), ask yourself:

• What would I say to a colleague in this situation?
• What’s a more empowering belief that still honors my ambition?
• Does this thought actually help me move forward?

This shift gives you back control over your mindset.

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3. Build a Non-Negotiable Self-Care Protocol

High achievers often treat self-care as optional. It’s not. Think of it like preventative maintenance for your mind and body. Build a routine that includes:

• Movement (even 20 minutes counts)
• Mental unload (journaling or voice notes)
• Micro-rest (10-minute breaks without screens or pressure)

Small consistent rituals beat big occasional ones every time.

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4. Curate Your Support Network Like a Boardroom

Strong people ask for help—they just know who to ask. Surround yourself with 2–3 trusted people you can check in with when anxiety is high. Whether it’s a therapist, coach, mentor, or grounded friend, connection is part of your performance plan.

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5. Anchor Yourself with Mindfulness (Without Sitting Cross-Legged)

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be rigid. Try:

• Taking 3 conscious breaths before meetings
• Single-tasking instead of multitasking
• Connect to your senses-light a candle, look out the window or take your shoes off and feel the groud beneath you (even if you are in a high rise)

The goal? Get out of your head and into now—where your power lives.

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6. Audit Your Stimulant Stack

Your brain runs hot—but too much caffeine, sugar, or alcohol can throw your system off. Ask:

• How does my body feel 30 minutes after coffee?
• Am I chasing energy I haven’t earned with rest?
• Could hydration or whole foods serve me better today?

No shame—just curiosity and intentional choices.

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7. Plan Like a CEO, Rest Like a Human

Overwhelm fuels anxiety. You don’t need a 60-hour week to prove your value. Try:

• Breaking your day into 3 main priorities
• Blocking time for focused work AND recovery
• Celebrating small wins to keep momentum up

Rest isn’t lazy. It’s leadership in action.

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When to Ask for Professional Help

Even the most capable people deserve support. If your anxiety is interfering with your ability to rest, connect, or feel like yourself—it’s okay to ask for help.

At Epiphany Lane Counseling, we provide therapy for high achievers who want to feel grounded, regain clarity, and lead from a place of confidence—not chaos. And if you’re ready to do deep, values-aligned personal work beyond therapy, On Epiphany Lane Coaching offers guidance to help you build an intentional life that reflects both your ambition and your peace.

We see the full version of you: the driven and the drained, the visionary and the vulnerable. Whether you need space to unravel or tools to rebuild—we’re here for it all.

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Final Thoughts

You don’t have to choose between ambition and peace. You can have both—when you learn to work with your anxiety, not against it.

These tools are just the beginning. You already know how to perform under pressure. Now it’s time to learn how to recover and thrive—and we’re here to walk that path with you.

Ready to take the next step? Learn more about therapy and coaching options at On Epiphany Lane

Spring Reset: Your Guide to a Fresh Start

Ah, Spring. The season of blooming flowers, longer days, and that urge to clean everything. While January often steals the show as the time for resolutions and fresh starts, Spring offers a unique opportunity for renewal and growth – both personally and professionally.

We all know how New Year’s resolutions tend to go: ambitious goals, initial enthusiasm, and a gradual decline into old habits. But with Spring comes a natural energy and motivation that can be harnessed for lasting change.

The Magic of Spring Resets

Spring cleaning isn’t just for your house – it’s for your mind and soul too. Here’s how to embrace the season of renewal and hit the reset button on your life:

1. Start with intention. Before the day gets away from you, take a moment to set an intention. What do you want to achieve or focus on today? It could be as simple as “I will be present” or “I will prioritize my well-being.” 

2. Reflect and adjust. Take time each evening to reflect on your day. What went well? What could be improved? This self-awareness is key for growth. 

3. Embrace imperfection. Remember that change is a process, and setbacks are inevitable. Be kind to yourself, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward. 

Goals: Small Steps, Big Results

Instead of overwhelming yourself with massive goals, break them down into smaller, actionable steps.

• Progress over perfection. Celebrate every victory, no matter how small.
• Find your support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you.
• Be flexible. Life is unpredictable. Be prepared to adapt and adjust your plans as needed.

The Journey of Growth

Remember, lasting change is a journey, not a destination. It’s about showing up every day, making an effort, and enjoying the process.

So, are you ready to embrace the Spring reset and unlock your full potential?

Check out the Epiphany Lane Counseling Crew at our website to book a therapy session and get starting on your growth journey.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Are you ready to accept that Luka is gone? Maybe it’s time to talk to someone besides your pickleball team about it.

If you’ve been following a bunch of therapists in Dallas on social media, it might be time to take the plunge and get professional support.

But hold on a second! Before you start calling, it’s important to understand what kind of help you need and what to expect from a mental health or wellness professional. There can be a lot of confusion about the differences between therapy, counseling, and coaching. Don’t worry, I am here to clarify the differences.

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The world of mental health is complex (honestly a little redundant) and nuanced. I do believe in order to “Live Life in Your Lane,” you need that nuance to differentiate what you need from what you don’t. Here is a break down of commonly used terms.

Therapy is a general term for medical treatment that addresses an injury, impairment, disease, or disorder. It helps someone feel better, heal, or grow stronger, especially after an injury or condition. Think about all the different therapies you know about—like physical therapy.

Mental health has co-opted “therapy” as a term, in my opinion, to legitimize the need and effectiveness of mental health treatment.

Psychotherapy is medical treatment of mental, emotional, or behavioral disorders and tends to be considered long-term or diagnosis-specific. It is likely to address traumatic experiences, serious behavioral and emotional distress, and warrants a medical diagnosis or “F” codes, as we call them for short.

Counseling is professional assistance in resolving personal difficulties. As a professional counselor, we are bound to ethics and expected to have a base set of knowledge called competencies. Counseling can be short or long-term depending on the issue and the relationship between the client and counselor.

So, counseling and therapy are very similar. The main difference is the potential severity of the issue, the training or approach of the professional, and the client’s commitment to the issues.

For example, I practice both counseling and psychotherapy. I chose to put “counseling” in my business name because it aligns with my counseling license and general approach. I practice psychotherapy by default because it is the basis for evidence-based practice, and counseling is the art of weaving those theories and techniques together. I will call a session “psychotherapy” when it is shorter because it has to be more structured than a counseling session.

What about coaching? Is a coach what I need over a therapist in Dallas?

Coaching vs. therapy is a common question. Coaching lacks the privilege and oversight that therapy has. Therapists can provide coaching, but coaches can’t provide therapy. Coaching is highly structured, goal-oriented, and related to a specific area of development. Coaching isn’t regulated in the same way a counselor or therapist is because coaches aren’t considered medical professionals.

Coaches are awesome, though, especially if you have the skills and mindset you may have already learned in therapy or from your upbringing to support you. You can have a coach for nearly anything. For example, I offer Anxiety Therapy for Graduate Students preparing for major exams. In those sessions, we focus on very specific strategies and behaviors. Whereas therapy for test anxiety would be in-depth and connect the anxiety to other parts of the client’s life and sense of self. Some coaches do walk the line of seeming therapeutic, and they can be certified by coaching organizations. Therapists and counselors learn all the same techniques and strategies that coaches do.

Mental Health Professionals: Understanding Your Options

Wait, what about LPC, LCSW, LMFT, Psychologists, LMHC, etc.? What do I need?

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)
What They Do: LPCs provide mental health support to individuals, groups, and families, focusing on client-driven solutions and adaptations. The titles differ by state.
Areas of Expertise: Anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, addiction, and personal development.
What to Expect in Therapy: LPCs typically use talk therapy, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and goal setting in a supportive environment to encourage personal insight and coping strategies. Sessions may last 45-60 minutes and can take place weekly or biweekly.

Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
What They Do: LCSWs offer therapy and support while also connecting clients with resources and services in the community.
Areas of Expertise: Mental health disorders, behavioral issues, substance abuse, and navigating social systems (like healthcare and housing).
What to Expect in Therapy: Therapy may involve exploring personal history, current challenges, and systemic issues. LCSWs often use a strengths-based approach to empower clients, typically engaging in weekly sessions.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)
What They Do: LMFTs specialize in relationship dynamics and family systems and provide therapy for couples and families.
Areas of Expertise: Couple’s issues, family conflicts, communication problems, and parenting challenges.
What to Expect in Therapy: LMFT sessions may involve multiple family members or couples, focusing on interpersonal relationships and communication strategies. Therapy often includes discussion of patterns and behaviors, aiming for resolution or improved understanding.

Psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.)
What They Do: Psychologists assess and treat mental health disorders and conduct psychological testing and research.
Areas of Expertise: Varied specialties ranging from anxiety, depression, and PTSD to child psychology or neuropsychology.
What to Expect in Therapy: Psychologists use a range of evidence-based therapeutic techniques, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy. Sessions usually focus on understanding and processing thoughts and feelings with the goal of behavioral change.

Other Mental Health Professionals
Psychiatrists: Medical doctors specializing in mental health who can prescribe medications and offer therapy. They generally focus on diagnosing and treating mental illnesses.
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners: Advanced practice nurses providing assessments, diagnoses, and medication management alongside therapeutic services.
Psychotherapists: A broad term that includes any licensed professional providing therapy, which could encompass any of the above disciplines.
Support Groups: Non-professional peer-led groups that can provide community and shared experiences for various issues, such as addiction or grief.

Factors to Consider When Choosing a Mental Health Professional

• Your Specific Needs and Concerns: Anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, etc.
• Your Preferred Therapeutic Approach: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), EMDR, psychodynamic therapy, humanistic therapy, etc.
• Insurance Coverage and Cost: In-network vs. out-of-network providers, sliding scale fees, etc.
• Accessibility and Availability: Location, telehealth options, wait times, etc.
• Personal Connection and Comfort Level: Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with and trust.

Questions to Ask Potential Mental Health Professionals

• About their experience, areas of expertise, therapeutic approach, and fees.
• About their availability, cancellation policy, and communication style.

Additional Resources for Finding a Mental Health Professional

• Online Directories and Databases: Inclusive Therapists, Therapy Den, Headway, Therapy for Black Girls, Black Female Therapists, etc. (Here is a reel I did about my favorite directories.)
• Referrals from Your Doctor or Insurance Company
• Support Groups and Community Organizations

Remember, finding the right mental health professional may take time and effort. Don’t hesitate to reach out to multiple providers and ask questions until you find someone who meets your needs and helps you achieve your goals.

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Anytime a client allows me to be part of their journey, I am honored to be chosen to help them.

You deserve support from someone who can deeply help you. Therapy isn’t just for chatting weekly—it’s about reaching your goals and getting real support. I hope this helps you find the right therapist in Dallas and that you start moving towards meaning and purpose that fills you with power, peace, and joy.

I am a therapist and an advocate for mental health. I know I can’t be everyone’s therapist, even if I am their Mental Health BFF. If you are interested in learning more about me and my Epiphany Lane Counseling Crew, follow me on the journey.